This Mom's No
Expert, but I do know a lot about infertility...
Did I think it
would be difficult to get pregnant when my husband and I were ready to start
trying? Absolutely not! After all, we each had a daughter from our
previous marriages. Both girls were conceived rather quickly so we knew neither
one of us had any issues making babies. In fact, twins run in both of our
families so we figured we would try the first time and...BOOM! Be pregnant with
twins. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Not even one single baby.
We decided to start
trying in July of 2008. So, I met with my doctor, told her we wanted to
start trying... She wrote me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and away I
went... ready to make a baby.
So, the first
month, we very actively tried to conceive, and to our surprise, I was not
pregnant. Hmm... must have been a fluke! I read about ovulation predictor kits
(OPK's) and we decided to try that for the second month. When the stick finally
said I was ovulating within the next 12 to 36 hours, we did our part, as many
times as possible. We just knew this was the month! But, we were again
disappointed with a big fat no. Boo.
Months 3-8 we
continued the OPK's, timed intercourse and took our vitamins faithfully every
single day. And still… no
pregnancy. We were beginning to become overwhelmed
and stressed out at the not so spontaneous way we were going about doing this…
“Oh honey, I’m ovulating… we need to do it now.
Meet me at home for lunch!” Not
the most romantic way to make a baby!
We made an
appointment with my doctor to see if she could help. Given that I was 32 years old, she decided
not to make me wait the full year to get medical assistance in getting
pregnant. We decided that my next cycle,
I would do the OPK’s and when the test said I was going to be ovulating, I
would call her office and we would schedule an intrauterine insemination (IUI). This procedure gets the sperm right where it
needs to be when that egg pops out ready to be fertilized. Great!
My dear sweet husband had to do his duty at the urologist’s office where
they would spin the semen down and pick the best sperm to inseminate with. Perfect!
It’s going to work this time. We
can feel it! They had me come in for a
blood test a few days later to make sure I ovulated and I did! We were so excited and couldn’t stand the
wait of taking that pregnancy test. So,
the time comes, we take the pregnancy test and it is negative. We couldn’t believe it. We were beyond shocked.
For the next 2
months my doctor decides to put me on Clomid.
It’s an oral fertility medication that helps you produce more eggs in
hopes that one would fertilize. Both
months I took the Clomid and we did the IUI and both months, ended up with no
pregnancy. She decided it was time for
us to see a fertility specialist.
In July of 2009,
exactly one year from when we started trying, we met with a fertility
specialist out of Mobile, AL. He wanted
to do testing on both of us to see what the problem was and suggested
injectable fertility medications if all went well with the testing. So, we agreed and began the testing:
laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, HSG test (dye through the fallopian tubes), tons of
blood work and an ultrasound for me.
Complete semen analysis, exam, ultrasound and blood work for my
husband. Maybe we could find out what
the problem was so we could fix it and get pregnant.
The results were
in. No problems with me or my
husband. Everything was normal. We were diagnosed with “Unexplained
Infertility”. Let me tell you… that was
probably the worst diagnosis we could receive besides being told that we could
never have children. If we knew what the
problem was, we could fix it. But there was no problem, so the doctors couldn’t
explain why we couldn’t get pregnant.
Very discouraged, we agreed to start injectable fertility drugs during
my next cycle along with an IUI. This
was the next step in having a baby. We
took a mandatory class on how to inject the meds, because it’s a daily
injection. We read and researched
everything we could on the subject of not only unexplained infertility, but the
meds and how good of a chance we had of them working. We started to feel optimistic that maybe this
would get us the baby we so desperately wanted together.
My next cycle
starts in August 2009. The routine is a
grueling process of blood work, ultrasounds and daily instructions on
doses. I had blood work and ultrasounds
approximately 5 times during a 9 to 10 day period. I would have to inject myself with Follistim
every single day in the stomach after receiving dosing instructions from my
doctor depending on what my ultrasound and blood work showed. Follistim makes you produce many eggs instead
of the normal one egg during a cycle. Once
it showed that the follicles (those are the sacs on your ovaries that holds the
eggs) are the right size, they had me inject myself with Ovidrel which is an
ovulation induction medication that makes you ovulate ALL eggs that are the
right size… from both ovaries. They then
schedule our IUI for 36 hours later. So
yes, there is a chance of multiples, but as my doctor said… “Our goal is to get
you ONE healthy baby”. We drove to
Mobile, had our IUI and the wait was on.
My blood pregnancy test was scheduled for exactly 2 weeks later. That was the longest 2 weeks of my life. I was on the internet every night looking for
stories of people that got pregnant during their first round of Follistim/Ovidrel. I looked up statistics… I was obsessed. I couldn’t stand the wait so I bought
internet cheap pregnancy test and became a pee-on-a-stick-aholic. Of course it’s not showing up positive yet,
it’s too soon. Finally the day came for
my pregnancy blood test. But I already
knew. I had taken a test that
morning. I was not pregnant…again. We were devastated. The doctor said he would change up the doses
for the second round to give us a better chance.
Round two with
injectable meds started immediately.
After all, you start your period just a day or two after finding out
you’re not pregnant and the entire process starts over. So we did the same routine as the month
before, with higher doses. The meds
really make you feel unwell, bloated, you gain weight. We decided that if we didn’t get pregnant
this month that we were going to take a break.
We were going to get through the holidays and begin again in
January. Well, that’s exactly what
happened. Blood test came back that my
pregnancy hormone levels were at 1.20.
They explained that an egg must have fertilized and implanted, but
didn’t take. They saw this as a good
sign because at least we knew it could happen.
But for us it was more devastation since we now knew we had to wait
until January to regroup, rekindle the romance that had been taken over by
medical intervention and start this process all over again.
January came and so
did some bad news. My biological father
had died. I hadn’t seen him in 15 years,
but my sister, brother and I went to Savannah to pay our respects to the father
we hardly knew. Guilt set in. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I felt guilty for not pursuing a relationship
with my alcoholic father, even though as the parent, he should have reached out
to me. I was in no position to try to
get pregnant. I had to get myself back
on my feet mentally and physically. And
it took me until the end of April to do that.
May 2010, we went
for our third round of injectable meds and IUI.
The entire grueling process all over again. They increased my meds, went through the
process and then we waited. We were
hopeful… optimistic… ready for this to be the time we got our baby. Two weeks later, I go in for the infamous
blood pregnancy test and I already knew (because I’m a pee-on-a-stick-aholic,
remember?). I WAS PREGNANT!!!! We were ecstatic! We told everyone… we were going to have a
baby! We went to our 7 week ultrasound
and saw that sweet little heartbeat. It
was amazing. We were in love with this
tiny little pencil head sized embryo already.
We had wanted this for so long!
Around week 10 of my pregnancy, I started spotting. I called my doctor and they had me come in
for an ultrasound. My sweet ultrasound
technician looked up at me and said “Heather, I am so sorry, but the baby
doesn’t have a heartbeat”. I was
crushed. I called my husband in
hysterics and he just couldn’t believe it. I called my mom who cried with
me. Our baby was gone. Just like that. I had my D&C the next day. And I cried every morning that I woke up
realizing my baby was gone. They wanted
to do testing on the baby to see what the reason for the miscarriage was. If it was a genetic problem with me or my
husband we needed to know that. The
results came back and our baby girl… yes, a girl had Turners Syndrome. It’s a random genetic disorder that could not
be prevented and was not caused by me or my husband’s genetic makeup. 98% of embryos with Turners Syndrome will
miscarry. So the statistics and the
reasoning behind what happened made me feel a little better about the
situation. Knowing that it was nothing
we did, or nothing wrong with us genetically helped me accept it. Although it still hurt tremendously.
Getting pregnant and
having a miscarriage made us more determined than ever to start trying again as
soon as we could. But I had to wait and
have a normal period after the D&C first, and then the next month we could
try again. So I decided that maybe God
wanted me to pray for other people instead of just praying about me and my need
for a baby. So I prayed every night for
everyone I knew that was pregnant… including my husband’s ex-wife. I prayed for safe pregnancies, normal
deliveries and healthy babies for all of them every single day.
September 2010, we
started our fourth round of injectable meds and IUI. Nervous, excited, worried… those are the
words I would use to describe my feelings through the entire process and the
two week wait. But to our amazing
surprise, we were PREGNANT! Scared to
tell anyone just in case, we only told our parents and two of my co-workers who
were the only ones that knew we had gone back for round four. I wanted to wait until week 12 to announce it
just in case, but when I had an ultrasound at 9 weeks and everything looked
great, we decided to tell the world! I
have to admit, I was scared to death the entire pregnancy that I would miscarry
or something would go wrong. I had a few
issues with spotting, but the baby was fine.
One June 1, 2011 at
37 weeks, our beautiful daughter, Addilyn Rose was born weighing in at 5lbs
15oz and 18 ½ inches long. She was
wanted for so long and she was finally here!
We are so blessed to have her in our lives. Her sisters adore her, she looks just like
her daddy and has my personality. She is
truly a miracle!
So, from start to
finish, our journey to pregnancy was one month shy of taking 3 years to add our
little blessing to our family. It was a
long and at times heartbreaking process, but in the end it was all worth it. If I had it to do it all over again, would
I? Absolutely.
This Mom’s No
Expert, but I do know a lot about infertility issues. So my reasoning behind
writing this article for Wiregrass Parenting Magazine is to give hope to
someone that may be going through the same thing that I went through. If it can give one person hope, then I did my
job. My advice? Pray. Miracles can and do happen. Addilyn is living proof of a God given
miracle!
Addilyn Rose Rotenberry
June 1, 2011
My name is Heather Rotenberry and I am the
Creator and Publisher of This Mom’s No Expert. This
Mom's No Expert is a personal blog about the adventures of a thirty something
year old wife, and mom of three over the top, extremely dramatic little
divas…and loving every minute of it! It's a fun blog that discusses family
issues, kids, parenting, step-parenting, marriage, infertility, addiction and
many other topics. Some posts will be
personal stories or opinions sure to make you giggle, and some posts will be
informative… but all posts will be based on my personal life story. For more stories like this one, please visit
my website at www.thismomsnoexpert.com
